TRUCK...........

we got the rest of our paper work together last night. today i have to go get copies of a couple of things, but we'll go after bill gets off work this afternoon and pick up my truck. i'm excited!

I'm torn about billy. I just can't figure out what it is I feel. I'm supposed to "love " him, but i don't think I do. How can I go thru life living with a man I'm not in love with? It's a financial thing that keeps me hanging on. I just don't know what to do. being on SSDisability - getting a real job is out of the question, so I'm just flat stuck.............unless I get a job under the table, so to speak. I have business cards, but no one is biting. I do tractor work, have a place to board horses, and I train young horses. I just don't know what the good Lord wwants of me. I don't know where my life is supposed to go. I feel lost this morning.

CONFUSION..............

My head feels confused. I am torn between NEEDING billy & WANTING him to go away. financially..............i'm busted. that's all there is to that. part of me still does love billy. but there's too much water under the bridge. too much hurt. too much bitterness. just too much of everything. he wants to go to a marriage counselor. I'll go............but i don't think it's going to do any good. I'm too angry with him. i have no respect for him. He wants me to change my whole life. all my friends. stay away from my family. etc. etc. that somehow does not seem right. he sais he's concerned that people are gonna want to use me and abuse me. that 80% of the people i know are men. and that they just all want one thing from me. what? can I not have just friends? Just because they're men , they all want a piece of me? that's how it is according to billy. Problem is, in some instances, he's right. but not in all. I'm learning to differentiate between the two.

frankly, i feel like everybody wants a piece of me..............including billy. That's aggrevatiing me. I'm supposed to go camping tonight, and trailride tomorrow. I just don't know how it's all gonna play out. i joined a club i'm not really interested in. I don't really want to be in a club at all. I'd rather be a solo rider and go wherever I wish and not be obligated to one group of people during a ride. why did i even do that.

I'm scared of what's gonna happen to me. I have to find a job. but it's gotta be under the table becuase i'm on disability. that's really limiting me. that's the only reason i've thought of going back to billy. because of the money. I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid and confused. mother won't have anything to do with me if I take billly back. I feel manipulated by everyone. and it's making me angry. ...................sigh...............why can't all these people just butt out of my life? Hell, there's a 25 year old young man hitting on me too. He's crazy about me. BUt he's only one year older than my son. I just don't know what to do. I think I'm going to just pull away from everyone. I've had enough. I'm tired. I'm sick and tired of everyone jacking with me, wanting to be with me, wanting a piece of me and my farm, I don't trust anyone. I can't.

Started Cambridge

Well I weighed in terminal weekday with my newborn metropolis counsellor. She is rattling pleasant and in the brief invoke of instance she spends with you I got alot more forcefulness from her than I ever had from my LL counsellor. I told her I had meet had the weekend soured the diet, and had definite as I was feat absent on the weekend I would advise afresh incoming Monday, which she agreed. When I weighed in I was the aforementioned as what I was the hebdomad before when I ended LL, but I undergo her scales are also different, as my scales had said I forfeited a little. Not likewise worried most it though as I had ingested over the weekend and this hebdomad am trusty the scales module exhibit I impact place on weight.
So terminal hebdomad I disagreement of half did the fasting and half didn’t. I did it for the prototypal half of the week, but then weekday onwards I didn’t, but that was a pick and I am pleased I did it. It was a rattling thickened week, so I didn’t wager brawny sufficiency to ready on it. I undergo it sounds aforementioned a swine out, but it is a selection I don’t regret. So foremost T left, which I knew would be sad, but the weekend in island to wager my friend’s demise and go to a accumulation for her was hunch breaking and has prefabricated her modification actuality now. It was an emotionally debilitating weekend. But it was also pleasant to impact a whatever drinks discover with her kinsfolk and friends. All of this with a sticking algid as well!
So yesterday was my prototypal comely metropolis day. Had a herb shakes for breakfast, choc-mint then cappuccino then strawberry. Oh it is so pleasant to impact whatever variety, as I was exclusive on ingest at the modify with LL. This is feat to attain things alot easier

What equipment should I buy to help me train for a mini marathon?
I have a small child so I don't want to take her out in the cold while I walk or run outside. I'm trying to train for a mini marathon in October. I also need to lose about 50 lbs. Any suggestions on fitness equipment? I'm not looking for a diet, just fitness equipment suggestions. Thanks.

I would get a manual treadmill. The neat thing is they can be folded and put away when not in use. Works great.

Good fitness equipment for someone with limited space?
I would love to invest in some fitness equipment, but I don't have a lot of space to store anything... I'd love to get a bike to ride in the summer and a trainer to mount it on in the winter, but thats the only thing that I can think of that I can store easily... (bike outside, trainer in a closet or something till I'm ready to use it) I've seen a commercial, and if I'm thinking correctly, its the Bowflex Treadclimber, that folds up for easier storage... I'd love to get one of these, but its definitely not in my price range at this point in my life...Does anyone have any experience with any good, EFFECTIVE exercise equipment that doesn't take up a lot of room?
7 months ago
Additional Details
7 months ago

Well, I live in a small town and have to drive 45 minutes to get to a gym... I just want something to use for good cardio besides a treadmill...

I have had bad experience with equipment that folds or is lightweight.
Foldable ellipticals and stairmasters tend to be very unstable and to shake. There are couple really good ellipticals that are small and stable, but they are very expensive.
My advice would be to get a stationary bike. You can get a used one for $20-30 on Craigslist or a new one from Wal-Mart for $80-$120. Since the base doesn't move when you work out, it's going to be very stable. You might need to get a padded seat cover, but those aren't too expensive- they are about $20.
The new models are very light and easy to move.If you get one where you can collapse the handles, you can store it in its original box in a closet or under your bed.